Urban Parsha Ekev [deut 7:12-11:25]

urban parsha“.  it’s just like regular torah.  but ghetto.

and so moses said, “don’t be sleeping on none of what G told y’all, not even the small stuff.  obey it and he got your back just like he did out here in the desert for 40 years.  y’all never needed new kicks and the threads were mad fresh, right?  aight then.  when you get to the crib in israel don’t act like you brolic and you running ish like he ain’t put you on.  don’t be effing ish up like y’all did that time when i dipped to get the ten commandments and i came back and ya’ll were popping bottles with your iced-out calf.  G was mad tight with y’all about that.  i had to mash-up the tablets real quick and beg G not to bust shots.  he got mad love for the levites though.  they his boys and that’s why they don’t need to hustle for land.  now y’all peeped how the ish went down with pharaoh and his crew and how G was like “hold this” to dathan and abiram.  stay running with G and y’all can stay sipping patron on ice and milk and honey and all that ish. but let them next god dudes spit game at you, and y’all gots to bounce.  tell your kids to respect the bible game and post up his words on your crib and things’ll stay popping, he’ll make it rain for y’all, and none of them other wankstas will have a swagger like y’alls.”

[good lord i think i felt brain cells die writing that.  seriously this is getting harder to do.  and this is how some people speak?  for real?  cmon now, didnt what you just read seem even vaguely ridiculous?  well thats how you sound.  lets get it together black ppl.  acting black is acting black. acting ghetto is just acting stupid…

…as for “urban parsha“…hey, when something is really, truly, internally yours?  you can have a lot of fun with it.  shabbat shalom.]


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4 thoughts on “Urban Parsha Ekev [deut 7:12-11:25]

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