Urban Parsha Re’eh [deut 11:26-16:17]

urban parsha”.  it’s just like regular torah.  but ghetto.

and so G said: “imma tell y’all straight up right now: y’all  can do the damn thing and we be cool or y’all can drop ship and we got beef. when y’all get up in the club, it’s on with them next g haters. let em know we up in this ish. smoke them fools and they fake a$$ g’s. i run israel…don’t be tryna swith up my flow, ya heard me? my verses be tight already, i don’t need yall messing with my bars. now if some next cat comes along tryna kick knowledge that i aint never co-signed on, then that cat is tryna clown y’all cuz he don’t run with me. don’t let him gas you up with some walking across water ish…when you up in my crib, break me off with some of that paper, cuz y’all need a reminder that I run this ish. i get money. now y’all better come through and holler at me at me in club. you know how we get crunk on the trifecta.

[good lord i think i felt brain cells die writing that. and this is how some people speak?  for real?  cmon now, didnt what you just read seem even vaguely ridiculous?  well thats how you sound.  lets get it together black ppl.  acting black is acting black. acting ghetto is just acting stupid…

…as for “urban parsha“…hey, when something is really, truly, internally yours?  you can have a lot of fun with it.  shabbat shalom.]


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12 thoughts on “Urban Parsha Re’eh [deut 11:26-16:17]

  1. Hey, I thought of something you could do as a “JOC” minhag. Even though I’m against the idea, this is at least something that doesn’t go against other practices and would definitely make JOC’s stand apart.

    You should do a little research and find out how to pronounce ALL of the Hebrew letters that get a dagesh. (dot, for those that might not know)

    All of us say bet/vet (bais/vais) kaf/chaf pey/fey.

    We ashkenazim say “saf” for a “taf” without a dagesh. I’ve heard a Yemenite Jew say over wine “boreh pri hajofen”

    What about Daled? Mem? any others? Consult with a ancient Hebrew scholar and start pronouncing all of the dagesh/no dagesh combinations.

    What do you think?


    1. funny you should say that, as something ive actually considered is the full pronounciation of the beged-kefet letters. [as well as wondering why the founders of the state of israel didnt choose this pronounciation for their official language as it would have alleviated the need to create apostrophied versions of letters for sounds not found in modern hebrew]. for those not in the know, the letters bet,gimmel,dalet, kaf, pey, and tav all originally had different forms of pronounciation depending on whether there was a dagesh present or not. nowadays only bet, kaf, pey and ashkenazi tav have kept the change, but it used to break down like so:
      bet/vet, gimmel/jimmel, dalet/thalet [“th” like in “this”. hence the talmudic ruling that the sound of the letter “dalet” should be drawn out in the word “echad” of shema. an impossible feat if it’s a hard “d” sound], kaf/chaf, pey/fey, tav/thav [“th” like in “thin”]. to my knowledge, nowadays only temanim and yemenite jews pronounce the full beged-kefet.

      although the point again isn’t to randomly assign new minhagim, but to allow cultural experience to influence our execution of judiasm.


      1. so i got the original, A rabbi who did years of research, based on sefer yetsirah, and the ancient custon of Jews worldwide gave me the masoret. hit me up on Fb, or gmail for it. my name on them is my name (no dots, spaces in gmail)

        to start, its not beged kefet, its beged kaparat…


  2. What do you mean when you say “cultural experience?” There is no singular “black” experience -certainly not anymore.

    The African Americans that I grew up with in Orange County, California, grew up middle to upper-middle class, like everyone else in our neighborhood. We had a poor section, and every race/ethnicity was represented as equally in the low-rent apartments as the nicer neighborhoods of single family homes.

    My Af-Am classmates from high school have as much in common with an Af-Am in Harlem or South-Central L.A. as I do.

    It particularly bothers me when those of African descent are criticized for being Conservative. As if Alan Keyes, Clarence Thomas, Michael Steele, Larry Elder, Star Parker, and J.C. Watts (just to name a few) need permission from “the black community” to espouse a political opinion.

    It’s just ridiculous. Maybe that’s why I don’t want to see any of my fellow Jews associate themselves with the Sharpton/Jackson clowns – the supposed leaders of “the black community”. They have called some of the above personalities “sellouts, uncle toms,” even “house n________s” – I find the whole thing disgusting, and I would never want any Jew to feel like he/she has any obligation to be part of “the black community” as currently defined.

    …and that’s all I gotta say about that.


    1. …but ALL african americans have a common ground in the experiences of things like…african-american slavery…jim crow…the civil rights movement…etc. your af-am classmates in high school have dramatically more in common with af-am in harlem or south central than you do. their ancestors were all enslaved in america. yours weren’t. their ancestors were all denied the right to vote. yours weren’t. their ancestors were all subject to separate waterfountains and establishments under jim crow. yours weren’t. they are subject to racial profiling at any given time. you’re not. being jewish or not doesnt change that. and whether an african american jew wants to “feel” like they have an “obligation” to part of the “black community” is irrelevant, b/c by dint of being “african-american” they ARE part of the “black community”. whether they like the current state OF the “black community” is ONE thing, but feeling like they dont have an “obligation” to it is EXACTLY what i was talking about when i said some african-american jews use being “jewish” as a synonym for “not african american”. it is a denial of the community which to the same degree as judaism created you as a person[sometimes MORE, as judaism on average is generally less than hospitable environment when it comes to non-white jews]. to ignore that or to feel you dont have an “obligation” to that community is disrespectful.


    2. Ummm…Adam…are you African American? Because if you aren’t, isn’t it like a Christian person speaking on behalf of his Jewish friends?


  3. Manishtana, thank you for the comment you made at 4:24 pm today. Very much. You said that so well. Made it as cut and dry as it is.


  4. FYI – I’m American Israeli, no African ancestors in recent generations that I know of. My comments are the result of years of discussions with African American friends. If a Christian (like my best friend) knew a Jew (like me) who had an opinion on a social issue, it would be fair for him to reiterate it in a forum.

    Manishtana – Am I being disrepectful to the European American community by not identifying with them? They also have similar backgrounds and experiences. I don’t feel that I belong in that group. I’m not “white” – I’m a Jew.

    So what if their great great etc. grandparents were forced into slavery? A person now should be enslaved into being part of “the black community” b/c of what they look like? Does my college classmate who was born and raised in Nigeria also have an obligation to this community in America – last I heard, she still lives in the U.S.

    Let each and every person determine for him/herself which groups to belong to. And yes, a person born to a Jewish mother is a Jew, whether he/she wants to be or not – but I wouldn’t guilt trip such a person into sticking up for “the Jewish community”.

    As I mentioned before – here in Israel, it is much more common to see Jews of all physical types. While it may exist, I have never seen anyone ever be “less than hospitable” towards a fellow Jew in Israel b/c of their appearance.

    I HAVE seen it in America, to which I always respond “A Jew is a Jew. There is no difference between us”.

    As I have read your posts and thought about the issue more, I think it’s okay for any Jew with any background to say “I’m not X (or X anymore for converts), I am a Jew”

    It’s okay, it may even be halachically preferable.


    1. why would ur nigerian classmate have an obligation to the african-american community? or even the nigerian-american community? she’s nigerian. her obligation would be to her nigerian community. and while yes, i understand the ssence of what ur saying and agree with the ideal, we cannot ignore that that is sadly not how the world–jewish or secular–works in actuality.


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