Urban Parsha V’zot HaB’racha [deut 33:1-34:12]

urban parsha”.  it’s just like regular torah.  but ghetto.

and so moses said: “look y’all im about to be out. for real. now imma spit y’all some blessings one last time. ru-bizzle don’t let ppl punk you cuz y’all small right now, you feel me? ju da man, G got your back when ppl tryna run up on you. l-veezy, y’all got the urim v’tumim cuz y’all held it down. G be smiting y’all enemies in the loins. that’s some serious ish right there.  bennie man, G got mad feelings for you.  jo-jo there’s two of y’all so y’all  get mad blessing with all kinda crazy ish like suns and moons and hills and mountains and heavens and earths and all that kinda ish. zeb’loon y’all be cheesing when you out there on tour, and lil izzy y’all be feeling mad nice in y’all crib. mr g, y’all dudes be crazy, tearing dudes heads and arms off.  that’s some lion type-ish. d.a.n. y’all got some of that lion jump-off too. naphtallyman, y’all be easy posted up in the dirty south, ya heard me?  dr a., e’erybody’ll be feening to cop some of y’all oil. sim-simma, you aint get none cuz im still tight with y’all acting a fool over that kozbi shorty, but G got ur back anyway.

peace out my dudes.”

…and so we’ve reached the last installation of “urban parsha“. hope you’ve enjoyed it as much as i have. but never fear! starting up with bereshit will be “real talk parsha” and you’ll be able to find all of “urban parsha” archived over at http://urbanparsha.wordpress.com/. see you soon….


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