here we are with 2009 on its way out and 2010 on its way in. as such, id like to list five new year’s resolutions of sorts [many of which
have been inspired by aliza hausman]. now this isnt
a list of things that i want to do, but of things i want others
to do. and yes, i realize that im a big fat jew, so why am i jumping on
the secular/pagan new year’s deal? well, b/c the things id like to see
resolved spring from a decidely un-jewish frame of mind and thought, and
since you bastards obviously didnt pray any of your idiocy off on rosh
hashana, maybe this time you’ll get ur act together. LOL! [no, not
really. not even a little bit.] anyhoo.
1. stop telling jocs that they’re too sensitive/complain too much/are career victims. really, its great that u perceive that ur particular inclave is joc-friendly [altho, to add just a lil bit of credence
to the merit of ur purported statement, you may want to, i dunno, ASK
the jocs in ur inclave how THEY actually feel the community treats them,
not how you THINK they feel or SHOULD feel based on your necessarily
limited knowledge and experience of the situation]. no, white ppl, just
b/c you converted does not mean you are an automatic authority on the
woes of the joc community. sure, you might feel some needling due to ur
convert status, but that does not even begin to open ur mind to the
waves of microaggressions and grade-a ignorance a joc undergoes on a
1a. as an addendum, id also like to call a halt to statements like “i dont think its THAT bad.” “do you really experience THAT much racism?” “are you sure what ur experiencing isnt just slight unease?” [all of
these are actual quotes, btw]. now, [although ill prolly get the same
waves of emails asking why i feel the need to devolve to physical
violence as i did for my jocslapping video]
im gonna give you an example:
imagine that i was complaining that as a joc i was getting punched by people on a constant basis and ur response was “are you really getting punched THAT hard?” see, ur missing the point THAT IM GETTING PUNCHED.
stop asking me if im really getting punched “that hard” or “that often”,
just STOP FUCKING PUNCHING ME.
2. please, everyone, get over the assumption that racism and ignorance only exist in the orthodox jewish community. the reform and conservatives just do it in hipper clothes and with better hair.
2a. as an addendum: non-orthodox jocs, us orthodox jocs who speak of our negative experiences are not crazy. we feel great that you’ve had such lovely experiences, but sadly that has not been the case for all of
us. it isnt something that “we” are “putting out there” or what “we”
are “doing”. and although, no, not all ashkenazi or other non-jocs are
rabid, horse-riding, sheet wearing racists, yes racism is pervasive and
institutionalized in american judaism. please stop trying to tell us its
not. when synagogues have in their constitution that “this
congregation will not encourage or interfere with making proselytes
under any pretence … until he, she or they provide
credentials…and, provided he, she, or they are not people of color”
[congregation kaal kadesh, south carolina] and that the congregation is
limited to “white isrealits [sic] only” [another
synagogue whose name i cant recall at the moment] then yes, its
institutionalized. when a rabbi receives death threats before attending
their pulpit b/c they’re black [rabbi alyssa stanton], then yes, its
3. randomly, j***h’s witnesses, please stop trying to recruit me while im walking down the block on shabbat in my jewniform. clearly, ive already been drafted by a team. however, im sure some of those guys
over there in the dugouts could use your help more. and by “guys in the
dugouts” i mean “those Gdless drug dealers over there on the corner”.
4. ppl who dont support/believe in the state of israel are not any more un-jewish than you are. theyre un-ZIONIST. yes “anti-zionist” is usually code for “anti-semitic”…if ur a NON-JEW. but if you ARE
jewish, then you know the difference. please stop being so
holier-than-thou. if i dont believe ur supporting the state of israel
makes you a death-eater, then me not supporting the state of israel
shouldnt make me lord voldemort. either way im sure we can BOTH agree
that flying planes into buildings is a very not good thing to do.
5. black [and other ethnic] ppl: please stop condescending/pitying us jocs b/c you feel we abandonded your savior to be jews. more importantly, stop patting urselves on the back for remaining so blindly
faithful to the religion that was forced down your throat and most
responsible for stripping away ur original culture, enslaving you and
thank you for ur time.
Order Thoughts From A Unicorn: 100% Black. 100% Jewish. 0% Safe.