…and introducing Smegma Boy!

Hello readers, I’m MaNishtana.

Now, I’m not really the gloating type, but when I call things, I call ’em. So I’d just like to take out the time right now to say I told you so.

For those of you not in on the loop, right now an anti-circumcision bill is on the table in San Fran which would ban circumcision for males under the age of 18 and carry a fine of $1,000 and up to one year in prison.

As if this weren’t anti-Semitic/Islamic enough, now the forces of anti-circumcision also have a superheroic avenger: the ludicrously named Foreskin Man.

Yes, that’s right. Foreskin. Man. (Let’s not even get into one of his villians,Monster Mohel. And honestly wtf is the creator getting these “Jewish” names from? “Yerik”? “Jorah”?? What the hell is a “Jorah”? On a side note, I DO enjoy the art, however. Reminds me of an early Ed Benes. But I digress.)

Now, as someone who’s collected and continues to collect varied forms of comic-hero fare, I can tell you first hand that there’s already more than enough superheroic characters out there with vaguely sexual names.

Oneg the Prober. Angar the Screamer. Black Goliath. Zippermouth. Night Thrasher. Hump. Iron Fist. Miss Fingers. Left Hand. Jackhammer. Blowhard. Bi-Beast. Lady Flash.

But “Foreskin Man”? C’mon now. That’s just lazy.

And what, pray tell, would Foreskin Man’s powers be? Well not invulnerability (as the character seems to have) since all the Anti-Cutters have made it a point to declare that circumcision removes sensitivity. So apparently he’d be even MORE sensitive to damage. Maybe he has an ability to leap slightly higher. Or a slightly deeper voice. Or the ability to attract one/third of the women Circumsized Man does.

Oh wait, you didn’t hear about that part? So, yeah apparently women prefer circumsized penises at about a 3:1 ratio. Hmmm. All of a sudden this Anti-Cut movement makes sense.

It’s just a bunch of lamer circumsized dudes who haven’t been able to get laid, hoping to even out the score by convincing the good-looking dudes to stay in Anteater-ville, thereby cutting their competition down by two-thirds.

Genius, really.

And the plot thins.